Lifestyle | March 8th, 2018

Surviving the Twenty-somethings

By: La’Kayra Larramore

What is that you say? You are a twenty-something sham who will never have your life together? Well, join the party because we all occasionally feel this way. We all have those days where we feel as though we are far behind. We look jealously around at our Instagram peers and ask ourselves “why you and not me?” squinting angrily at this person, who probably has a beautiful apartment and an actual career. But, perhaps they stay with their parents and only have $12.47 in their checking account. Chances are the same people you idolize, are probably looking at you the same way. We all go through the twenty-something faze of daydreaming instead of putting in the work, feeling as though every one has exceeded past us, and that we are slowly running out of time. Well, do not just sit and watch your life pass by. Just dust the dirt off your shoulder and try again the next second. It is time to conquer the twenty-somethings.

Help! I am stuck in my dreams:

After talking with Tanya Wright, a biology student at Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University, she made a statement that stuck with me until the end of our interview. “I am not lazy, I seem to get trapped in my dreams.” I was somewhat startled but I could fully understand. I tend to spend hours daydreaming about what I want and before I know it the entire day has gone by. New York Times Best-selling Author, Kelly Williams Brown says it best, in her book Adulting: How to become a Grown-up in 648 Easy(ish) Ways “intentions don’t really matter because they only exist inside you. Meaning to send a thank you note but then not doing it is exactly the same as never thinking to send one – that person is still receiving zero thank-you notes.”

No one assumes that they will not make it across the line to success. We dream of our marriages, our future cars or what we will be wearing once we become a guest speaker on the Steve Harvey show or Conan. Dreaming, however, can become dangerous, pausing us into this utopic fantasy world. We participate in our dream world but become absent in our present. Causing us to waste time.

We will stroll through Instagram on fashion feeds picking out our future outfits, that we are going to pay with our future money, from our future careers – that was a lot to say.  We fantasize about the families we want and find ourselves, three hours later, googling houses or condos in the cities that we wish to leave in, neglecting the present; which is much more valuable. The present decisions that we make will determine our future lives. The dream-world however, feels awesome. We get the feeling of ecstasy because most of the time the Journey to that dream world is somewhat dreadful.

There are steps to those goals and aspirations. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a genie, you must work for your future of bliss. This is not a terrible thing, it is a process. Sophia Amoruso, author of #Girlboss takes the words right out of my mouth, “dream big and start small.”

You are not behind, you are only twenty-something!

The tendency to be so focused on the future could depress us. Sara Bareilles, an American songwriter and singer wrote in her song uncharted, “Compare where you are, to where you want to be and you’ll get nowhere.” Those fourteen words say so much. Being stuck in our future world can waste our time but it could also cause depression. Why do we do this to ourselves? Because we become so consumed with what we want to be, it never occurred to us how much work it takes to get there. We are microwave babies. Some of us live our entire lives being told that we are naturals; a natural dancer, writer, magician. What we should be told is that we naturally love our talents, however, we need the practice to perfect it. That one key factor that is implanted into our brains when we hit our early twenties. When we should have started perfecting our craft at THREE!

There are some, that out early perfecting their craft, and those children are considered prodigies by the age of twelve. However, they practiced. They didn’t become Picasso once the umbilical cord was cut.

If you are among the percentage that didn’t learn their craft at the age of three do not become obsessed with doubting yourself. You have time, you are only twenty-something.

Time is irrelevant; however, you can’t waste it:

Many of us forget what day it is. When we sign documents, the most frequent question asked is “what is today’s date?” However, there are some twenty-somethings that worry too much about the 8760 hours in a year. Focusing on what you haven’t done is a burden. Plus, it makes you feel terrible and could cause you to give up, affecting your consistency in your craft. It is a cycle. You receive an epiphany that inspires you to start working hard, you start to worry that you will not be good enough and convince yourself that it is too late for you to work on making your skill better, this forces you to give up, and then you regret giving up and gain another epiphany, and the cycle continues. There will never be enough time in the world because the truth is there is no such thing as time.

If you decided to stay up past 12 am – in which most twenty-somethings do anyway- what will happen, will you die? The same goes for starting a business or going back to school or learning how to yodel.  Time doesn’t exist, it is a man-made thing to help with expiration dates for food. You have all the time to work, time is just there to keep you organized. There are 8760 hours in a year and there is no one there to tell you how to use them. They physically do not matter or exist, so why are you so concerned with starting a business at 4: 13 in the morning. It may be random but no one is holding a gun to your head, forcing you to sleep. Time is irrelevant and there is so much you must get done. So, write your internship email at 3:21 in the morning, just wait till 8 am to send it. For those who hold the superpowers of not worry about how fast time flies, I envy you.

To sum it all up our twenty-somethings are terrifying but don’t become frustrated or doubtful. Just be aware and proud of your small accomplishments. Don’t misuse your talents worrying about how much time you have left. However, don’t squander the first 20 days of the month daydreaming. Go out and work.  Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, a French writer, and poet says it best “a goal without a plan is just a wish.”